Get out of my way please, i don’t need you now, I know you’ve got the best intentions but you cannot help me, cause you don’t understand what’s going on in my mind. This feels like a little chaos, burning slowly into my brain. For a while the fire burns so low, that it seems to disappear. But now I think it is always there, waiting to grow at any time. And yes, I know you’re sick of it, I know you want me back, you want that young 17 years old girl who made you think she was the one, that girl of whom you once thought: “she’s incredible” … well now you see, how incredible I can be, how I can change so fast, from one mood to another, from happy easy days, to stupid nonsense depression that not even I can completely justify. Please love, this isn’t you battle, this isn’t your obligation, and more than anything, I don’t want you to think it is, I don’t want you to do it.
You should have thought wiser when you decided to be with such a weird stranger. Because we were strangers anyway. But how could you even imagine that I would become this mess? Not even I could.
Please don’t read any of this, please don’t read anything I ever write. I know most of it is depressing and it makes you worry, and it makes you angry because I’m supposed to be better now. And I was, I was getting better. But then it just comes back out of nowhere, and I feel it rising again and I just feel powerless, helpless, weak, and worst of all, I am getting used to it.
Please my dear love,
Just walk away, this isn’t yours to fight
Just walk away
And be happy …
